The story of my glasses...

7 years ago I bought a lovely pair of very cheap glasses.
They've been mistreated, scratched repeatedly, twisted and even bent by my children.
This past Thanksgiving we hit the road for California.
We had a lovely time and started the journey back to Oklahoma.
And since I despise wearing my contacts I of course ended up wearing my glasses for the extremely long car ride.
I decided to get a little shut eye and removed my glasses.
Five minutes later the boys needed me and since I've got pathetic eyesight I reached for my glasses so I could turn around and talk to them.
And that's when it all began.
I was reaching every where but they were no where to be found.
I pushed my foot onto the floor so I could turn around to face the boys and that's when I felt something crumble beneath my feet.
I dreadfully felt the floor and picked up my glasses, now in 2 pieces.
Thankfully they busted across the nose piece so I was able to salvage them with some duct tape.
Fast forward to one month later when my hubby shut the bathroom drawer with my glasses upright and they busted yet again.
My suspicions told me that he did it on purpose so he'd never have to see me in my duct tape glasses ever again.
Fast forward three more weeks of wearing nothing but my contacts from when I rise out of bed until I close my eyes for the night.
And then I was given the best birthday present EVER.
And my hubby proved my suspicions to be wrong.
True love at its best.....

Evidence

Healthy habits

One of my goals for 2011 is to convert to a "made from scratch" diet. I want to know each and every ingredient in our meals and really put forth the effort to make some last minute changes I have hanging over me. There are a few items and canned food that I need to remove from our diet and substitue with the real thing. On that list is the following;
-bread (please share your favorite recipes. Do I need a bread maker? Sourdough start?)
-crackers (I'm a sucker for crackers with soup, peanut butter and cheese)
-all beans (I still buy them in cans so I'm making the switch to making them from the dry beans)
-tortilla's (I know these are probably super easy and I just need to do it once)
-noodles (I'd love to start making my own)
-cream of _____ (I have a few random recipes that include crm of chkn and crm of mushroom)

I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting but that's what comes to mind at the moment. I realize most of these are probably easy to make but for me it's always taking the plunge and attempting it for that first time. Once I do it the first time, the second and third will be so much easier. I finally made the plunge and made my own veggie dip (I used to buy the dry ranch mix). I want to start making our own salad dressing, taco seasoning and onion soup mix. I need to start canning tomatoes. I also want to make applesauce for the boys.

I have new foods I'm implenenting. It's so easy to make the same ole stuff because it's easy and I know them by heart. We want to start making our own sushi. And the new year has included an abundance of fresh fruit and veggies, hummus, avocados, and delicious soups. I'm so thankful the boys are so willing to try new foods and eat healthy with little complaining.

I'd love for my readers to share favorite recipes and also any suggestions for favorite supplies (food processor, bread maker, etc??) for whipping up natural foods. I will try to share some of my favorite recipes as I learn and perfect them. Happy & healthy 2011 to all!

The Scooter Gang

Friends

I am so thankful for the wonderful group of friendships that I have developed as a result of adopting. A big thank you for those of you who checked in with me the past 48 hours. I appreciate all the different perspectives and insight my dear friends have offered. As well as support and love! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Heartache

Today was one of those days that was so peaceful and happy, yet full of heartache and sadness. It included thoughts and conversations about Ethiopia. Adoption. Ethics. Corruption. And it ended with so many questions left unanswered. It has me wishing for someone to appear and tell me what to do, where to go, or how to help...

Whoever you are, if you are listening, please guide me.

Peace

In the winter we are able to catch the sunset every night since it's moved south so I try to soak in as many as I can. And when I'm really on the ball I'm able to catch some pretty spectacular sunrises. Here is one of my favorites!

It's happened...

I knew with three boys it was inevitable but I thought I had more time. My mornings are filled with talk of poop, wieners, farts (and farting), britches, and anything else that is gross and disgusting. It is then followed by laughter. I have tried to curb it but my disgusted face only makes them laugh harder. And once one of them starts laughing, the other two laugh even harder. It's a vicious cycle. But somewhere inside of me I have to suppress my own laughter because I would hate to encourage this sort of behavior (right). I fear, the youngest of all, is the biggest instigator. The outcome of having three boys this close in age, has begun. God help me....

Happy New Year!

2010 will come to an end in less than an hour. I'm lying on the sofa, music playing softly in the background, three little boys curled up in bed together, a handsome hubby asleep on the sofa and myself reflecting on what the year has entailed. The year has been graced by multiple road trips with our boys (we've traveled through 15 of the lower 48 just this year), multiple camping trips, campfires & s'mores, trips to lakes & mountains, a new home, bike rides & hikes, good health, beautiful memories with family & friends, cuddles on the sofa, reading books in bed together, lots of laughter, tears, happiness and some sorrow.

2010 taught me to enjoy the present. To stop trying to predict the future and enjoy the present. It taught me to be more patient, more kind and considerate. I learned how to be a better mother, wife, daughter and sister. I fell even more in love with Nater after a decade of being together. He amazes me every time I watch him with our boys. He is kind, generous and caring. And to this day, I'm so thankful to have him in my life.

2010 was filled with love & laughter. And I'm hoping the next year will be just as good. Happy 2011 friends & family! May your life be blessed with happiness, laughter and lots of time with those you love!

Family Picture Outakes

It's never as easy as it seems...

Nightly Routine

For the past couple weeks Landon has fallen asleep with Conner. Some nights we move him to his bed while other nights we let them stay with him. Tonight I went up to cover the boys long after they'd fallen asleep and this is what I found...

A day that ends with wine & cheese....

Here is a blog post I started this morning;

Chandra
- has eaten way too many Christmas cookies; including a breakfast that consisted of three sugar cookies and coffee.
- is wearing tight yoga pants which doesn't help the "feeling soft & gooey could I please just get off my *ss and exercise" mood.
- hates waking up to a digusting kitchen & screaming kids.
- wished there could be a cleaning fairy that would magically clean it.
- realizes how small & pathetic these problems are in the grand scheme of things.
- will probably not ever publish this post.
- misses her family.
- needs to start working out & eating less cookies.
- is looking forward to upcoming visitors.
the end to yet another post I'll never publish....


I do this sometimes. I write a post, get out my vent and move on with my day. It's not that I'm trying to hide a part of my life, but rather I'm embarrassed at how insignicant my problems are in the grand scheme of things. I have such a comfortable life it feels petty to actually complain. So I type up a post occasionally, shut my computer and walk away. Usually I can shake my mood by listening to some music, positive thinking, talking with a sister, etc. But today, I walked around the house in a daze, while eating sugar cookie, after sugar cookie (I later blamed my mother for such a delicious recipe) trying to clean up the house. Anyway, later in the day we got some upsetting news which only put everything in perspective more and I then walked around feeling sad. I tried distracting myself by finishing up painting my room but Conner was soooo on to me. He kept asking me if I was okay and finally I gave him my fake smile and said "of course". He said to me "mom, that face you just made is your smile you give me, like this (and imitated me), when you are upset or mad". I scooped him up, covered him in kisses, and cuddled with the boys for some bedtime Christmas books. I know Conner is not blind to what's going on, but his perception constantly amazes me. And I'm so thankful I have him around to keep me in check. I love ya C man.

hope

There are many things I hope for while raising three boys but something that we are constantly stressing is gratitude. We try to remind them to be grateful for food, water, our home, learning, fresh air, etc. Well the other night Conner and I had a date to pick out a tree and grab some groceries. After being gone for a couple hours we hopped into the car to head home when Conner said "I wonder what my brothers are doing... I miss them. I miss dad". I responded saying I missed them too. Then Conner said "We sure do have a great family. I love our family". And then he proceeded to tell me the rest of the way home, "we sure are lucky to see Christmas lights". After coming home that night and decorating the tree while baking cookies he continued to thank us all night for all the fun. It really melted my heart and it has been on my mind since then how thankful I am that he's getting it! That all the work we've put into being good parents is paying off. That my job the past five years really does mean something! Not that I underestimate the job of a parent but it's nice to know they are paying attention. And after a tough start at motherhood (see blog history for reference) the hardwork has really started to pay off.

Letters From Africa....

This little guy was super excited to have a letter come from aunt Meag who currently lives in Senegal, West Africa. She is working over there through the Peace Corp and we miss her sooooo much!! Two more years until she comes home. We love & miss ya Pity!!!

Holiday Cheer

Lots of good stuff going on here so of course if something has to suffer, it's going to be the blog. We just returned from a splendid trip out to California to see my older brother & his girlfriend. On the way to California we stopped and visited Nathan's brother & his family. We had a wonderful time seeing everyone and I hope to soon post pics of the trip. The drive was beautiful and the boys did wonderful. We've lucked out with three little road warriors that have an appreciation of mother nature and family time. They watched a couple movies on the trip otherwise they looked outside or yucked it up together. Last minute we decided not to take the van so we packed into Nater's car and I must say, I'm so thankful we did. All the boys were within reach of us which made it easy for feeding and hand-holding. They enjoyed sitting together and thankfully blessed us with little screaming! We saw lots of mountains, the ocean, snow, sand, visited a fun train park, hiked, ate ice cream, gave thanks on Thanksgiving and made it home safely! On the drive I was reflecting on all the road trips we've taken this year and I'm so thankful for all of them! 2011 road trips are already being planned :)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and if any of you are like myself, you are already decorating for Christmas (heehee). The boys and I decorated the house today while listening to Christmas tunes. It was such a wonderful day and it's times like these I really cherish with my boys. Happy holidays to all....

The wheels are always turning...

Conner has the flu. He's thrown up five times today but the most recent was over five hours ago so I'm really hoping he's going to feel better tomorrow. Of course he also hasn't eaten anything since the one slice of toast he had for breakfast. So maybe tomorrow will still be terrible. Nathan, being the wonderful father he is, will sleep with him tonight and keep a close watch. I hate when my kids are sick. Hate it, hate it! Conner had pneumonia & RSV at 15 months old and ever since then when he gets sick, it hits him hard. And it always has us on pins & needles until the fever passes. So here's to hoping tomorrow he'll wake up feeling better. And that I can actually catch up on all the laundry waiting for me.

Biruk & Landon spent the day buddied up together since they had strict orders to not stick their face near Conner's for fear of them getting sick as well. They are funny to watch together. The way they get laughing or watching them eat a meal together. Sometimes it's joint play but other times they just sit and play side by side. At one point Landon was flipping through books while Biruk worked through three different puzzles. Biruk has a gift. He can whip through puzzles like nothing I've ever seen. And I couldn't be happier because I love putting puzzles together. He's been tackling the 24-30 piece puzzles and it's so fascinating to watch him. He picks up a piece, studdies it, and then proceeds to pair it up with another. And another. I never knew he had such attention to detail until now. Tonight we sat on the floor and put together a larger puzzle. I am hoping for many more nights of puzzles with the little guy.

Nathan & I have been tackling all sorts of projects. The biggest is the bed for our room. We got our inspiration from Knock Off Wood (farmhouse bed) and we were set on making that one until I read on the comments section about someone using 2 old doors for the headboard & footboard. So that's just what we did. I found 2 old doors on craigslist for $20/piece and we brought them home and I stripped off the old paint (most likely full of lead - oh joy). I eventually exhausted myself off the task and let them sit in the garage. Then the kids & I took a spontaneous trip back to Indiana and Nathan surprised me by building the bed. Fast forward to this weekend when I finally primed & have started to paint them. Hopefully I can reveal them soon!

My sister (with five kids) will soon be moving from Texas to Michigan. I finally live near a sibling and she's moving away (boohoo) so I'm trying to soak up as much time with her and the kids as I can before they move. So this past week we went down and visited some parks and enjoyed our time together. I will be sad to see them go!

Meanwhile, Ethiopia has been heavy on the heart. And every time I sit down to blog about it I can't get the words out. It feels so personal & too private to write about. And I'm struggling with how to help? How to make a difference? Where to give? Thinking of ways we can do without so someone else can live with.... I've got an Ethiopia Jar started so every time I want to spend $ I can instead throw it in the jar. One of the easiest ways to give is when I'm tempted to eat out instead of making dinner. But I have other areas I'm going to try to save on so the pot can continue to get bigger. More on that later...

Being healthy. It's always on my mind and I'm hoping to become more efficient at making meals that are healthy & quick. I need to do the whole cooking on Saturday or Sunday for that weeks meals. It's a work in progress and for me it's been baby steps over the years. I eat less candy, buy less process foods, eat more fruits & vegetables, etc.

We started homeschooling last week. It was so much fun. All three of the boys hopped up on the barstools and I gave them all of their sheets to work on. Conner is working on his writing & reading & art. Biruk & Landon are doing little preschool sheets (Abc's, 123's) and I should be able to teach them together. I look forward to becoming more creative, organized, scheduled and regular with it!

So that pretty much sums up this weeks journal entry. I'm assuming the few readers I have remaining are my family so I've turned this blog into more a diary of my life. I know one day this will all be a distant blur so I'd better hold onto as many memories as I can.

Crafty Conner

After trick or treating I put the kids halloween bags up high in one of our cabinets and I randomly let them pick out a piece of candy. Well Conner was talking to my little sister Kelsey on the phone and while they discussed Conner's candy she told him he better keep it hidden or his mom will eat it. He said to her "Oh I've got it hidden, where no one will find it". She must have asked him where and he said "I'll give you a clue. It rhymes with snore". She then guessed door?? And I hear him say "No, not door. Drawer." At this point I figured out what was going on and sprinted up the stairs to his room to his nightstand. He was chasing up behind me laughing and trying to get me to stop. And sure enough, I whip it open to find his halloween bag and wrappers everywhere. As well as a small pile of them tucked by their overstuffed chair. I grabbed the phone and my sister was laughing hysterically. It was all too funny and even now it still makes me smile. Anyway, tonight while having dinner he said, "mom, there is a candy I got trick or treating that I don't like". I said "It's the coconut one right?". He said "how'd you guess?" I said "Well had you not stolen yours I could have told you that you wouldn't have liked that one". He said "well that seems like a big punishment for what I did". Ahhh... Conner, you'll always crack me up :).

Happy Halloween

From Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3.

We are headed down to Wichita Mountains for a day of hiking. More photos & stories to come.

Before I forget...

Conner just celebrated his fifth birthday. It was so fun watching him all day and listening to him talk on the phone to everyone. The first words out of his mouth in the morning were "I've got myself in a situation here. Landon is chasing me with a stick" (he says while running down the hall). I laid in bed smiling thinking about way he has always been with words. Then his first phone call with his dad (Nathan had left before he woke up) brought a smile to my face. I had told Conner when he woke up that Nathan had said to me "Have a fun day with Conner". And Conner on the phone had to thank him for it and told him he wished he could be at home with him. The boy loves his dad dearly. Then while talking to my sister Kelsey he says "Yeah, I just keep getting older" (in the tone of a thirty-something). And he had to tell everyone the three meals he chose for the day (apple-cinnamon pancakes, hotdogs & pizza for dinner). While telling his grandpa Tom about the pancakes, grandpa had responded "Well I want some pancakes" so Conner told him he should make some. Tom said "well I don't know how". Conner replies "Grandpa, sure you can make them, you are a good cook". Tom then says "no I'm not, grandma is the good cook". Conner than says "Grandpa, you need to learn how to cook. If you don't start now, you'll never learn". I was laughing pretty hard listening to that conversation. Anyway, the Connerisms just kept coming, one after another. I wish I could follow him around with a recorder so I could one day listen to them. But such is life, it will all soon fade away. I need to journal more. Hence the reason for yet another 'dear diary' post. I figure why not combine journaling with blogging.

The boys have really been thriving in the imagination department. It's been such a pleasure listening to them play together. They are in "bad guy" mode big time. Today they were all three running to the window to shoot the bad guy (aka the guy mowing the lawn next door). I'm sure he was wondering what was going on as he watched three boys pointing fake guns at him from the window.

The kids & I took a road trip back to Indiana a couple weeks ago. It was a last minute decision and I'm so thankful I seized the moment because it was so worth it. Lots of laughs and good conversation with my family, more memories at the farm (my in-laws) and lots and lots of outdoor play time for the boys. I barely took any photos but just soaked in all the time. It was lovely. My parents have chickens and I brought back with me a couple dozen eggs. I have just a few eggs remaining and I'm so bummed. It's been so fun cracking each of them open with their hard shells & bright orange yolks. And it brings back the memories of the boys getting excited watching them graze my folks backyard and nibbling on scrarps. I really need to find a local egg source. That or buy some land and get me some chickens (kidding Nater). Nathan's mom sent me back with a bunch of peppers. If we only lived closer (15 hours) I could be mooching off of them alllllll the time.

The weather has been perfect for outdoor time and leaving the windows open until dusk. Then we shut up the house (except for our bedroom) and I put on my sweaters and wrap up with a blanket. It's the perfect 70's and sunny during the day and 40's at night.

Landon is fully potty trained during the day but wearing diapers at night. Unfortunately that is when he does the nasty duty of pooping. Like most children, I still face the crappy task of getting him to actually start pooping on potty. He tells me every time he has to pee but he has zero desire to go no.2. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Meanwhile, I'm loving the fact that he's running around in undies during the day. We are slowly on our way to a diaper free house!!

Biruk has been "Buddy" free for a couple months now. For those of you who are unaware, Buddy was his yellow doll that he has been attached to since he got home from Ethiopia. We feared the day we'd lose Buddy. But with Buddy came the finger sucking. Every time Biruk had Buddy, his pointer finger was in his mouth. Causing quite the overbite and surely a visit to the orthodontist as he got older. Well one day B couldn't find Buddy. Nathan and I had him go to bed that night without him and he survived. A couple days passed and I found Buddy in the guest room so I quickly tucked him away for Biruk's memory box. He asked about him for a couple weeks and now he occasionally mentions him. The day Buddy disappeared is the day B quit sucking his finger. The callous on his pointer is slowly going shrinking. And B is doing fabulous without him! In fact, I think he's needing him mama a little more (instead of running to find Buddy when he got hurt). I'm enjoying the cuddle time as a result :)

Well my eyes are burning and my tea is getting cold. Speaking of tea, I've tried Nathan's several times and never liked it. My mom was drinking it one night while I was home and I tried a sip. And I loved it. Just simple green tea. I'm hooked!! So now I have my coffee in the morning and the evenings for tea. Life is splendid! Night all...

Dear Diary

As the boys have grown I've had moments of panic here and there of how fast they are growing but this past week it's hit me much harder than normal. So to deal with it I've been obsessed with not missing a moment, recording video for several minutes at at a time, taking (hundreds) of photos and spending hours watching them play at the park. As a result my house was a disaster by tonight which resulted in a late night cleaning spree. But back to the boys, the sadness of them aging has not left. I wish I would have journaled more and documented every minute of their life. How much did they weigh each month? How tall were they? What were their first words? When did they take their first step? And so on... I know it doesn't matter, but somehow it all seems so blurry. While I may not of been good at documenting everything via words I am so thankful for the thousands of photos and hours of video I am left with. And I know they are only 2,3 & 4 (nearly five) years old but they just seem so big!! Watching the three of them play and listening to their conversations only confirms how much they are growing up! And the bond that has developed is all that I had hoped for and more. One of the many things I love about these boys is when one of them is in trouble the other two chime in "Moooooooom, Daaaaaaaaaaad", all the while thinking 'how dare you punish him'. It's the cutest thing. And I love when one of them is upset and another brings them their favorite toy, blanket, etc. Or the encouraging pats on the back and the most recent phrase of all "you my best friend ____". That's been a popular one as of late. And "you are so funny". Which reminds me, Conner told Nathan & I the other night that we were "hilarious" and "two peas in a pod". While different stories, it's the same thing most families live through day to day. I guess with this grasp on motherhood (finally) has come such a great appreciation and gratitude for being able to be a mom. While I am sad for the time that has passed I am so grateful for the mother I've finally become. Not that I was a bad mother. I was a mom of three kiddos in less than 3 years. And miles away from family & friends. And desperate. And sometimes lonely. And maybe all of that has made me appreciate my time with the boys this past year even more. I still have my moments, I'm far from perfect, but I no longer feel like I'm drowning. So if there are any struggling mama's out there I promise it does get better. While you might be gasping for air right now, one day you'll float. And maybe like me, you'll think 'so this is what it's all about'. I like this!

Thanks for being such patient, forgiving, funny and loving boys...