A day that ends with wine & cheese....

Here is a blog post I started this morning;

Chandra
- has eaten way too many Christmas cookies; including a breakfast that consisted of three sugar cookies and coffee.
- is wearing tight yoga pants which doesn't help the "feeling soft & gooey could I please just get off my *ss and exercise" mood.
- hates waking up to a digusting kitchen & screaming kids.
- wished there could be a cleaning fairy that would magically clean it.
- realizes how small & pathetic these problems are in the grand scheme of things.
- will probably not ever publish this post.
- misses her family.
- needs to start working out & eating less cookies.
- is looking forward to upcoming visitors.
the end to yet another post I'll never publish....


I do this sometimes. I write a post, get out my vent and move on with my day. It's not that I'm trying to hide a part of my life, but rather I'm embarrassed at how insignicant my problems are in the grand scheme of things. I have such a comfortable life it feels petty to actually complain. So I type up a post occasionally, shut my computer and walk away. Usually I can shake my mood by listening to some music, positive thinking, talking with a sister, etc. But today, I walked around the house in a daze, while eating sugar cookie, after sugar cookie (I later blamed my mother for such a delicious recipe) trying to clean up the house. Anyway, later in the day we got some upsetting news which only put everything in perspective more and I then walked around feeling sad. I tried distracting myself by finishing up painting my room but Conner was soooo on to me. He kept asking me if I was okay and finally I gave him my fake smile and said "of course". He said to me "mom, that face you just made is your smile you give me, like this (and imitated me), when you are upset or mad". I scooped him up, covered him in kisses, and cuddled with the boys for some bedtime Christmas books. I know Conner is not blind to what's going on, but his perception constantly amazes me. And I'm so thankful I have him around to keep me in check. I love ya C man.