Life with 4

Life has become even more than I could have ever imagined thanks to my sweet girl.  For a long time I had my guard up and told people that boys were easy and I was scared to be a mother to a daughter.  I think I was trying to convince and prepare myself in case we never had a daughter.  I told myself parenting boys was wonderful, who needs a daughter?  And it was.  And still is.  But our life has been touched in a way I can't put into words.  She is the light of all of our lives and can bring a smile to any of our faces with just one look.  The boys adore her even more than I imagined they would.  And her dad.  Well let me just say that "daddy's girl" is a understatement.  He would go to the moon and back for her.  And it only makes me love him even more.  

You don't know the impact your child is going to have on your life until after they join you.  I can't imagine life without any of my four children and lately I've been so overcome with gratitude to have this job.  My life has slowed down significantly over the past couple years and I've appreciated motherhood more than ever.  My house is messier than ever and my heart fuller than I could have ever hoped.  Today, while at a program at the library, I watched C sit behind B at the library and he had his arms wrapped him.  They sat on the floor together the entire program with C letting him know the entire time he was right there with him.  It was so touching to observe it.  So often, while at the park, library, or playdates my boys walk together hand in hand.  They already have such a strong bond and I hope it only continues to get stronger as the years pass.  

Here are a few pics I just downloaded from my phone tonight.  Time is passing by quicker than I'd like.

Her sweet feet.  Could they be any cuter?

Her 2nd camping trip.  She laid in the pack n play over an hour while we set everything up; staring at the sky and loving the fresh air.  We have spent hours upon hours on our back porch because my girl LOVES the outdoors (and I couldn't be more thrilled about this).  

Yet another picture of one feeding the other.  This has been going on since they were babies and it cracks me up.  

One of many pictures of their multiple costumes.

Sleeping on Gma's lap.

Smiling at her proud cousin (who is thrilled to no longer be the only niece).

Love this face!

Yummy!

What is it about checking on your kids before going to bed and overcome with an overwhelming love for them?

The block tower they built for their uncle.  

The best big brother ever!

My sweet girl is losing all her baby hair.  

                                     

Enjoying a peaceful evening outside. 

Watching this sky!

One of her many faces.

My two look-a-likes.  

She is here!

It's been nearly 8 weeks since our baby girl joined the family and it's been a whirlwind.  Things are starting to feel normal and I'm so grateful for her strength and health.  We had a few scares and sweet Juniper was hospitalized for a few days but she is now thriving and following in the footsteps of her big brothers.  She is quite delicious and is adored by all of us!  Here are a few photos from the past couple months.  

Science Fun

Today the boys & I went to the science museum to meet a dear friend and her 2 children. I honestly love this place! We bought the family pass for a bargain and we've went multiple times in the past year. It's soon to expire so we'll be getting in as many trips as we can over the next month and then we'll renew again in October when they run another half-off special. We walked around for over five hours today. And 5 kids ranging in 2-6 did not get bored. We watched the Science Show and C gladly volunteered to go on stage. C is his father's son in many ways but this is where he differs. He's become more and more outgoing over the years and I think it's wonderful! Maybe he has more of me in him than I thought...

They played in bubbles, got wet, messed around in the gymnastics area, watched a show on Physics, looked at old planes, rode in a space shuttle (my favorite part was watching them on the screen while they were inside) while getting to say "roger that", and so much more. Anyway, I'm terrible at remembering this stuff so today I took tons of pictures and thought I'd blog about it. What a fun day!

The forgotten blog...

The blog. I have many days that I think about shutting down the blog. But then I remember that it is almost six years old and it seems unfair to shut it down. It holds so many memories that if it weren't for this blog I would have long forgotten. But I can tell I'm having a harder and harder time coming on here to write the truth. I have a journal I keep and it's much easier vomiting the truth on that with no one to judge me. So I'll continue to try to keep up with this at a very slow pace and one day I'll look back at it and surely be glad I held onto it.

Life has been good. Probably better than it has ever been for me (minus the raging hormone swings that occasionally come on full force) as a mother. I contribute it to the boys getting older. I dig my kids at this age. They are a lot of fun. Homeschooling has been so much fun and C's reading in the past few months has taken off. We curl up in my bed every day for phonics. Some days we are finished in an hour, the next day it make take us two. But the reward of homeschooling has been so wonderful. He's now reading chapter books and pronouncing words I'd never expect. I love it! We are hoping to have first grade finished before the baby gets here and he can take a break until we kick start 2nd grade. B is a complete sponge when it comes to school. He's only four but has known for sometime all his ABC's and writes his own name, along with Buddy's name (his security sheep). He writes it on all the pages he colors or homeschool sheets he accomplishes. He asked me once to show him how to write his name and since then has done it on his own. He's my most independent and it has been fun to watch him as a parent. He's ready to start school so I'm going to order his Kindergarten books and get it started while his enthusiasm and passion for learning is so high! As for L, the kid is hilarious. He'd much rather entertain with made up words like "fart-fick-a-doo". I can show him any letter or number and ask him again one minute later and he's already forgotten. And since he's only 3 we'll evaluate him later. It's funny, I always thought him & B would be in the same grade because of their 8 month age difference but I've realized that B will probably be a grade ahead. This is the most structured we've been with homeschooling and it's been good for all of us. While C & I work on school, B & L have developed such a bond and have become quite the buddies. They play with legos, wooden blocks or color for hours. It's been so much fun watching their relationship develop. We took a field trip to an aquarium last week. We are going to start frequenting the library more because of C reading chapter books and who doesn't love reading new books. And our membership to the science museum has been a wonderful tool for learning. We have plans to go there Thursday. As they get older we can broaden our trips to include visits to historical places, museums, national parks and much more. I'm so thankful for homeschooling and I think it's going to fit this crew very well!

Something else that has changed in the past few years is my desire for other interaction with adults. With the boys getting older I find I crave it so much less. C and I talk throughout the day while homeschooling or him asking questions and all three boys have become awesome gamers! So we play Uno, Sequence, and me & the 2 younger boys love puzzles! I have found with all these changes my days are less frustrating and much more enjoyable. That being said, it makes me nervous that sweet little 'bugsy' is about to rock my world. Let's hope not.

My boys need fed and the day must begin. Until next time, wishing you all happy days with those you love!

Role Models!

My parents and 2 youngest siblings are in Senegal right now visiting another younger sister Poe who has been there the past 17 months volunteering through PC. She lives in a village south of Kedougou in her own little hut with a PC family. She has 9-10 more months to go and will then be finished. My parents and siblings flew into Dakar to meet Poe and after a couple nights they traveled by bus to Kedougou and next they'll travel to Poe's village. My little sister has sent a couple emails updating us on the trip and it's been nice hearing about the trip. The most recent included a bus ride from Dakar to Kedougou that took them 17 hours. At one point the driver of the bus stopped at a garage and sat around with other men and talked/argued and Poe finally negotiated with him to drive them the rest of the way. He then opted to drop them off 2-3 miles from their hotel and they walked the rest of the way. Thankfully Poe has been there long enough to know how some of this works and is able to navigate pretty well. Anyway, they walked the remainder of the way and all is well. But while reading the email I couldn't help but think about how cool it is that my parents are there right now experiencing all of this. And most likely, they are probably handling it beautifully. Their main priority the past 36 years has been raising their 11 children. They raised us to be independent, strong, adventurous and sufficient. They've lived in the same home the past 33 years, sharing 2 bathrooms with 13 people. They are extremely frugal, very generous and 2 people that I look up to SO much. The first time they flew away together was when we sent them to Alaska for one of their anniversaries. Our family vacations included multiple camping trips (which we loved and cherish the memories to this day) and they set a fine example for us children. And reading the email this morning, while imagining my 2 parents trekking across Senegal with their 3 kids made me smile. Because it's just one more thing that they've handled with grace and strength. I realize there are people who accomplish this stuff every day but I'm still proud of them. Other than visiting another sister in London, they are in Africa for their 2nd international trip. I love it! And I'm so thankful for all they have taught me the past 30 years. Daily, they are still setting an example in my life and I'm so proud to be their daughter. Thank you!

Monday again

My last post was exactly 2 weeks ago. Apparently, blogging is part of my procrastination on Monday mornings. Mondays are a day I normally dread but since we are down to six short days before Christmas, every day will be spent in bliss before the season soon passes. Yesterday we spent the day making yummy desserts (no bake cookies, puppy chow and caramel corn) for our neighbors. Then we wrapped up the day by watching Home Alone with the kids and putting out a bunch of snack food. We realized five minutes into it we didn't pick the most kid friendly movie with words like jerk, ass, stupid, idiot, and of course they were scared shitless at the thought of Kevin being home alone. But by the end they were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes. So we may keep it on the Christmas movie list for next year. I really do love this time of year and I'm always so sad to see it end on 12/26. Yesterday the boys and I put together Polar Express puzzle (300 piece) and I'm still amazed at how swift Landon & Biruk are with puzzles. It's a lot of fun having helpers with the bigger puzzles now.

We had the ultrasound for Bugsy and we can officially announce "IT'S A GIRL!!!". It was our first time ever doing an ultrasound and it was a lot of fun. The first 30 minutes after she told us I kept saying "he" because I've spent the entire pregnancy convincing myself I'm having a boy. With three boys already in the mix you can't blame me for not wanting to get my hopes up. If I allowed myself any glimmer of hope I'd quickly suppress the thought and move on with my day. But for 24 hours after the ultrasound I randomly (and still do) let out squeals of joy and soon realized how much I had truly wanted a girl. And it's for REAL! Eeeeeek. So, things are about to change around here and though we'll still be outnumbered I will now have another girl in the house! The boys are super excited and we are starting to think about baby names.

We just finished up over 2 weeks of sickness in the house. Jus this weekend both Landon & Biruk were curled up with Nathan & myself with fevers. Conner was taken down by a wicked cough. But everyone seemed to be on the mend by yesterday and today they all seem 99%. May all the nasty viruses/bacteria finally come to an end. Somehow Nathan & I came out unharmed but I'm not out of the woods yet. With my luck, I'll be sick over Christmas.

I still haven't mailed out any cards yet. If you want to be added to the card list just let me know and I'll get your address. They may not arrive until New Years but I'm determined to send them out because I've been wanting to do them the past five years and never get them done. This year I'm getting rid of all the cards I bought on clearance and stored for the past five years.

I'll conclude with some pics of Bugsy. And while I'm biased I still understand that it's a 20 week old fetus and only as cute as she can be at that age. But I do love her little feet crossed, her cute little hand and sweet face.

Happy Holidays to all of you! It may be 2012 before I blog again.

Monday, Monday

After having hubs home for 5 glorious days in a row I'm sad that another work week has started. I told him the requirement for his next job will be a four day work week. Wouldn't that be bliss? Anyway, no more complaining. I just really like when he is around. Things run more smoothly. But alas, the kids are back to being stuck with their mama. As I type, my six year old is sitting next to me doing math. B wants to also homeschool like his brother so he's writing letters.

We decorated the house for Christmas this weekend. The tree is up, filling the house with the yummy smell of pine. The boys had a blast hanging all their ornaments and haven't stopped touching them since. One by one, the boys bring me broken Christmas ornaments and decorations. Nope, it's not irritating at all (sigh...).

My goal every December is to just embrace the month and keep things as simple as possible with minimal activity. This is one of my favorite times of the year (although since moving south we are missing such a huge part of the season - SNOW) and I dislike when it passes by too quickly. So operation December is under way and I'm hoping to do some baking for the neighbors & actually send out Christmas cards this year. I also love doing puzzles. There is something so relaxing about a cozy room, sitting at the table with a huge puzzle in front of you with the tree lit up in the background. The boys and I put together the Polar Express puzzle this weekend. I have 2 little ones that take it very seriously and the extra hands are helpful.

Our close family & friends are aware but I have failed to mention in the online world that I'm pregnant. I'll be 20 weeks this Thursday. The boys have named baby no.4 'bugsy' and seem very excited about another sibling. We've never done an ultrasound before but we will definitely be finding out whether or not bugsy is a girl or a boy this time around. It would be a really nice Christmas present Santa Claus if I was gifted with a baby girl.

I'm still searching for a midwife. I am interviewing two more this week and I'll hopefully have a decision made by Friday. I am less on the ball then ever and time has gone by quickly. We are planning another homebirth but since it's not the same CNM I used with my other 2 births I'm more nervous about choosing. Of course there is also the fact that Conner was born with forehead presentation and beat the shit out of my body on the way out. And Landon decided to come out sunny side up (professionally speaking, Posterior). I'm sure you can understand my paranoia that this baby is either going to come out with its feet or butt first.

Wishing you all happy holidays!

Intermission

I'm still here and still neglecting the blog. I've not picked up my computer for well over a week and barely at all the past month. I've not read all the blogs I love for weeks. And pretty much have neglected to do much of anything on the internet. It's been a nice and much needed break. We traveled to Florida to see hub's family early November and had a wonderful time. It included lots of rest & relaxation and was enjoyed by all. Shortly after that trip we headed back to the hoosier state to see family for thanksgiving and attend my cousin's wedding. On the way back home we popped up our camper in a rest area to sleep (first time for that and it was a complete success). And since our return we've kicked homeschooling into high gear thanks to some serious slacking on my part. However, C is doing fabulous and we'll be able to tackle first grade in no time. He's doing a great job reading and is loving math. And I've even been surprised by how much I'm enjoying spending the time teaching him. It's been a lot of fun and I have all sorts of ideas for the younger two. I've found a peace with motherhood and it feels good. Bad moments still come and go but that's to be expected. I'm enjoying my role and trying my best to cherish these moments with the boys before time gets away from me.

It's always a struggle for me to share some of my more intimate thoughts on my blog. In person, I'm an open book. So much in fact I probably make people uncomfortable. But writing about adoption, attachment, Ethiopia, depths of motherhood, my lovable Nater, poverty, abuse, etc is so difficult for me. It seems too personal and private to share via the web. But maybe one day the walls will come crumbling down and the words will flow...

Happy Halloween

Love

Boy Bliss

The three boys have been playing in the dirt in one of my garden beds on and off today for at least 3 hours. I'm going to do my best to start letting this be an every other day kind of thing. They are driving dump trucks, making roads, digging for bugs and playing awesome together. Operation BOYS GET DIRTY (relax mom) has begun :-)

My little campers

The boys & I headed out a couple weekends ago for a camping trip since hubs had his annual business trip to Chicago. We went to a small state park (one of the few in Oklahoma that weren't under a burn ban) and parked the camper at the site right next to the playground for convenience. We had rain all Friday afternoon into the night unfortunately but the rest of the weekend was beautiful. Friday the boys hunkered down with a movie (while I sat everything up), we played board games and started a puzzle. That night after tucking them in I stayed up to finish the puzzle and had the shit scared out of me by raccoons. Yes RACCOONS! They were messing with the bikes, under my camper, on my step and it resulted in me wanting to pack up and leave at 10:00 p.m. thinking an actual person was trying to scare me (can we say paranoid?). Thankfully a neighbor camper (one of only 2 in the whole campground) eased my fears and I was able to fall asleep.

The next day was much better and started with hot cocoa! We did a morning fire, had s'mores, played at the park, rode bikes, went down to the lake multiple times and enjoyed the sunset. Bedtime went much smoother and we slept to the sounds of pouring rain and thunder. Sunday was even better (I finally felt like I was getting into the groove of things) and we had a beautiful day including a picnic down by the lake, more trails and tag at the park. I'm a lucky mama to have these three boys in my life. Hubs was missed but he'll join us next time. Here are pictures of our fun and yes L & B are wearing their boxers in some of the pics (it was near bedtime).

5 for 5 - join us!

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography



Thank you Chandra and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.



A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps. 



At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.



The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.



That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.



I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

1. Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)


2. Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.


3. Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.



A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.



Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.





p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

 

Further Proof

While I'm a complete extrovert, an even bigger side of me is a homebody. I have no problem being cooped up inside the house all week with the exception of taking the boys outdoors. Parks, playgrounds, trails, backyard - all of them can draw me out of the house. Otherwise - fugetaboutit. I actually have joined homeschool groups so I will intentionally get out of the house for the boys and allow them to get interaction. We have plenty of playdates and while I never regret any of them, leading up to the actual event I dread it. I don't know if it's getting three kids ready, having to shower/brush my teeth & look presentable or something a psychologist could diagnose but I'm a wimp out leaving the home. I suppose I should rule out my kids because I even despise shopping of any kind, running errands, etc. Take for example, my HAIR. I've needed a cut for well over three months. And finally I called a couple of cheap salons to find out about walk-ins. But I was still to lazy to leave the house. So last night I got out of the shower, grabbed some scissors and told hubby to cut as straight of a line as he could 2 or 3 inches up. He looked at me like I was crazy and said something about having never cut hair and he wasn't really comfortable doing it. I told him there is no way it could look worse and don't sweat it. So he cut. Then I looked in the mirror, divided my hair on each side and cut off another inch or so. It's just above my shoulders and I could be happier. The layers need worked on but at least the overall length looks healthier. I'm considering saving a few bucks and you tubing 'how to cut layers' and finish it off myself. Crazy? Maybe I am. But a penny saved is a penny earned right? So tell me readers, is something wrong with me. Or are there some homebodies among you?

Slacker

My heart is not in my blog these days. I don't miss it. I forget I have it most of the time and I've had plenty I'd rather do then blog as of late. But I'm still here. We had a busy August that included a trip to Tennessee to meet up with my parents and all of my siblings (except one who was dearly missed) and their families. It was lovely and my time with them is always cherished. It was also the HOTTEST summer in Oklahoma's history which made for some serious cranky mother moments and plenty of mom fails. Thank goodness September started with beautiful temps and the boys and I have already started planning fall camping trips (first one this weekend). I also headed back to Indiana solo for Labor Day weekend for the annual camping trip with my moms family. They are awesome and I'm so thankful for the relationship I have with my aunts & uncles and all of my cousins, etc. Lucky us! I took not a single picture. I was too busy soaking in three days without kids. I'm not going to lie, it's just what I need to cleanse my soul. Since my return I've been such a better mother and I'm determined to have a lovely fall with the boys. So far, so good! We've been hitting up the parks, playing outside and this weekend we are heading out for campfires and s'mores. I can't wait! Happy (almost) FALL! Summer, you will not be missed.