Before I forget...

Conner just celebrated his fifth birthday. It was so fun watching him all day and listening to him talk on the phone to everyone. The first words out of his mouth in the morning were "I've got myself in a situation here. Landon is chasing me with a stick" (he says while running down the hall). I laid in bed smiling thinking about way he has always been with words. Then his first phone call with his dad (Nathan had left before he woke up) brought a smile to my face. I had told Conner when he woke up that Nathan had said to me "Have a fun day with Conner". And Conner on the phone had to thank him for it and told him he wished he could be at home with him. The boy loves his dad dearly. Then while talking to my sister Kelsey he says "Yeah, I just keep getting older" (in the tone of a thirty-something). And he had to tell everyone the three meals he chose for the day (apple-cinnamon pancakes, hotdogs & pizza for dinner). While telling his grandpa Tom about the pancakes, grandpa had responded "Well I want some pancakes" so Conner told him he should make some. Tom said "well I don't know how". Conner replies "Grandpa, sure you can make them, you are a good cook". Tom then says "no I'm not, grandma is the good cook". Conner than says "Grandpa, you need to learn how to cook. If you don't start now, you'll never learn". I was laughing pretty hard listening to that conversation. Anyway, the Connerisms just kept coming, one after another. I wish I could follow him around with a recorder so I could one day listen to them. But such is life, it will all soon fade away. I need to journal more. Hence the reason for yet another 'dear diary' post. I figure why not combine journaling with blogging.

The boys have really been thriving in the imagination department. It's been such a pleasure listening to them play together. They are in "bad guy" mode big time. Today they were all three running to the window to shoot the bad guy (aka the guy mowing the lawn next door). I'm sure he was wondering what was going on as he watched three boys pointing fake guns at him from the window.

The kids & I took a road trip back to Indiana a couple weeks ago. It was a last minute decision and I'm so thankful I seized the moment because it was so worth it. Lots of laughs and good conversation with my family, more memories at the farm (my in-laws) and lots and lots of outdoor play time for the boys. I barely took any photos but just soaked in all the time. It was lovely. My parents have chickens and I brought back with me a couple dozen eggs. I have just a few eggs remaining and I'm so bummed. It's been so fun cracking each of them open with their hard shells & bright orange yolks. And it brings back the memories of the boys getting excited watching them graze my folks backyard and nibbling on scrarps. I really need to find a local egg source. That or buy some land and get me some chickens (kidding Nater). Nathan's mom sent me back with a bunch of peppers. If we only lived closer (15 hours) I could be mooching off of them alllllll the time.

The weather has been perfect for outdoor time and leaving the windows open until dusk. Then we shut up the house (except for our bedroom) and I put on my sweaters and wrap up with a blanket. It's the perfect 70's and sunny during the day and 40's at night.

Landon is fully potty trained during the day but wearing diapers at night. Unfortunately that is when he does the nasty duty of pooping. Like most children, I still face the crappy task of getting him to actually start pooping on potty. He tells me every time he has to pee but he has zero desire to go no.2. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Meanwhile, I'm loving the fact that he's running around in undies during the day. We are slowly on our way to a diaper free house!!

Biruk has been "Buddy" free for a couple months now. For those of you who are unaware, Buddy was his yellow doll that he has been attached to since he got home from Ethiopia. We feared the day we'd lose Buddy. But with Buddy came the finger sucking. Every time Biruk had Buddy, his pointer finger was in his mouth. Causing quite the overbite and surely a visit to the orthodontist as he got older. Well one day B couldn't find Buddy. Nathan and I had him go to bed that night without him and he survived. A couple days passed and I found Buddy in the guest room so I quickly tucked him away for Biruk's memory box. He asked about him for a couple weeks and now he occasionally mentions him. The day Buddy disappeared is the day B quit sucking his finger. The callous on his pointer is slowly going shrinking. And B is doing fabulous without him! In fact, I think he's needing him mama a little more (instead of running to find Buddy when he got hurt). I'm enjoying the cuddle time as a result :)

Well my eyes are burning and my tea is getting cold. Speaking of tea, I've tried Nathan's several times and never liked it. My mom was drinking it one night while I was home and I tried a sip. And I loved it. Just simple green tea. I'm hooked!! So now I have my coffee in the morning and the evenings for tea. Life is splendid! Night all...

Dear Diary

As the boys have grown I've had moments of panic here and there of how fast they are growing but this past week it's hit me much harder than normal. So to deal with it I've been obsessed with not missing a moment, recording video for several minutes at at a time, taking (hundreds) of photos and spending hours watching them play at the park. As a result my house was a disaster by tonight which resulted in a late night cleaning spree. But back to the boys, the sadness of them aging has not left. I wish I would have journaled more and documented every minute of their life. How much did they weigh each month? How tall were they? What were their first words? When did they take their first step? And so on... I know it doesn't matter, but somehow it all seems so blurry. While I may not of been good at documenting everything via words I am so thankful for the thousands of photos and hours of video I am left with. And I know they are only 2,3 & 4 (nearly five) years old but they just seem so big!! Watching the three of them play and listening to their conversations only confirms how much they are growing up! And the bond that has developed is all that I had hoped for and more. One of the many things I love about these boys is when one of them is in trouble the other two chime in "Moooooooom, Daaaaaaaaaaad", all the while thinking 'how dare you punish him'. It's the cutest thing. And I love when one of them is upset and another brings them their favorite toy, blanket, etc. Or the encouraging pats on the back and the most recent phrase of all "you my best friend ____". That's been a popular one as of late. And "you are so funny". Which reminds me, Conner told Nathan & I the other night that we were "hilarious" and "two peas in a pod". While different stories, it's the same thing most families live through day to day. I guess with this grasp on motherhood (finally) has come such a great appreciation and gratitude for being able to be a mom. While I am sad for the time that has passed I am so grateful for the mother I've finally become. Not that I was a bad mother. I was a mom of three kiddos in less than 3 years. And miles away from family & friends. And desperate. And sometimes lonely. And maybe all of that has made me appreciate my time with the boys this past year even more. I still have my moments, I'm far from perfect, but I no longer feel like I'm drowning. So if there are any struggling mama's out there I promise it does get better. While you might be gasping for air right now, one day you'll float. And maybe like me, you'll think 'so this is what it's all about'. I like this!

Thanks for being such patient, forgiving, funny and loving boys...

October - the month of meals

I've been meaning to get on since the first of the months to announce to my readers (aka my siblings) that I'm challenging myself the month of October to make dinner every night. I've been wanting to get back into cooking mode and I figured this was the perfect way to challenge myself. And announcing it to the internet makes it seem more official. So far I'm five for five and I've made 2 new meals that we've never had before. I'm hoping it will spark some hidden chef inside me (not likely). I even successfully made dinner rolls, followed by cinnamon rolls the next morning with the leftover dough. It's been fun and has me excited for what lies ahead. We've been doing picnic lunch most days and it's been fun coming up with ideas for those. Tonight I stayed up to make granola bars for our treat tomorrow. YUMMERS :) Wish me luck....

Eating my words

It happens every. single. time.
Terrible threes are lovely :)

Fall Bliss

I think fall just might my be favorite season. All of them are magical in their own way but there is something so wonderful about fall. You have the change in color on the trees, the cold breeze blowing through your house (and the sound that goes with it), windows wide open, cold nights, campfires, sweaters, pumkins, crunchy leaves, and on and on. It's perfect in so many ways. With the departure of the heat we're back to picnic lunches on the patio or at the park (the boys are partaking in one right now). In the past week we've been to five parks and had three picnics. Saturday we spent the day at a local beach and came home with cold boys so we had a campfire and roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. We watched the stars come out. All was right with the world. And with this weather comes a feeling of peacefulness. It's nice to have the hectic summer behind us and an empty schedule for the months to come. We do better with this sort of lifestyle. Right now the boys are outside throwing frisbees and eating strawberries. There hasn't been a single fight today and motherhood feels so natural at the moment. It's the kind of day that....AND CUT. Biruk is now in timeout for throwing dirt and is screaming his head off. The ear piercing, nails on a chalkboard scream. Reality check! I guess it's things like this that make us appreciate the peaceful moments all the more. Happy fall!!!

Wonderful Wednesday

Bedtime stories...

Conner & have Landon have been staying up lately after bedtime and talking together. Sometimes they sing songs, sometimes they just talk and other times they yell down for us together. Biruk sleeps through it most of the time, otherwise he partakes. Tonight, after putting them down for bed I hear Conner yell down "Daaaaaad, can Landon sleep with me" followed by Landon yelling, "dad, I sleep with Conner". We didn't respond hoping they would drop it. Then I hear Conner say "I wish you could sleep with me Landon" and then I hear Landon say "I know Conner". The dialect between these three boys has been cracking me up lately. Anyway, just one of those moments that I wanted to document and cherish. I need to start setting up my video camera to record their conversations after we say good night. I am loving life with three boys; there is never a dull moment.

Better late, than never (or not)

The blog is taking the back burner lately. My friend Christina couldn't have said it better, "it's a labor of love". I love my blog, but at the end of the day it just feels like too much work to blog. And every time I sit down to write, my brain (which seems to be worthless lately), can hardly form complete sentences. Not to mention all the ideas and memories I want to document and preserve and deciding what to write makes it even harder. And again with the mom brain. That damn mom brain. Tell me I'm not alone? Please anyone whose life consists of dishes, groceries, laundry, cleaning, wiping butts, reading preschool books, washing hands, organizing, etc tell me I'm not alone!! I remember as a child watching my mom struggle with words while yelling at us kids (all eleven of us) and at that moment I remember thinking - why does she always get her words all mixed up. And now I get it. I've become my mother. My mom is smart. Very, very smart. The point is simply this, I use as much brain power as I can with my current life as a mother (and I've become quite efficient at it) but the other parts of my brain have turned to mush and it frightens me sometimes. So don't fault me as a blogger. I will try to write more I just want to warn you that it might not make sense to anyone except myself, my husband and my siblings (and of course my mom). I lack patience and tend to quickly write my post and move on to the next task at hand. Which is just how I roll. So roll with me readers! And enjoy the ride. May the new (Ethiopian) year bring lots of blog posts, stories and photos!

Come on Computer..... come on!!

And the little one is still amusing us...

Lucky Me

Just a few minutes ago, before heading to bed, I peeked in on the little boys. Conner was in the same position he was in 3 hours ago. And I just stared and stared thinking about how much he looked like Nathan and of course how much he acts like him (i.e. telling my moms group tonight "the noise is making me so annoyed, I am going up to my bed"). If I only had a dollar for every time someone said "he is just like Nate". Anyway, after lots of staring and thinking I made my way over to babe no.2 and stared at Biruk. Such a beautiful face! And of course, I thought of his birth parents. And I wondered what she would be thinking about right now if she could see him. If she was tucking him in right now. Who does he remind her of? Where does he get his independence? Strong-will? His beautiful smile? Energy? One million facial expressions? And I feel so lucky. So very, very, very blessed to be his mama. To be called "mama" day after day. And to be told "i love you" each and every day by 3 very special boys.

Today I was scrambling around cleaning and preparing food for the purse party I was hosting (hatiancreations.com). I felt a little stressed and overwhelmed yet the boys were putting up with it. Finally the boys starting acting out so I took the time to sit and read with all of them. They needed it; I needed it. I've finally learned that the aggression is coming from somewhere. And instead of screaming at them I've resorted to quality time and cuddling. It's been more effective for me and them! Anyway, some time had passed and I heard Conner reading to the boys. I stepped out of the kitchen to find the three of them curled up on the couch with a stack of books as Conner read to them (from memorization) with Biruk's head curled up on his shoulder and Landon listening with admiration. How did I get so luckY?

Perfect!

After spending the morning at the pool the kids and I came back for some snacks. I grabbed the video camera after Landon started chanting (I didn't realize at the time he was saying bananananana). Anyway, it portrays the kiddos so perfectly. Landon (aka Dito) is the total goofball, always trying to make us laugh. Then Conner (aka Chum-Chum) who would prefer to NOT be recorded. And of course, the busy B who is in his own little world (and lets me know when he needs me). These boys have won their mama's heart!

And yet another blog post about poop...

You would think since Biruk has been officially potty trained for over 2 months I would have no more poop stories for you. But the adventure never ends with the busy B! Most of the poop stories usually involve him trying to wipe his own butt while I turn my head away for a brief second. But the latest and greatest (and partially my fault) involves an outdoor excursion. I made the mistake of telling Biruk to start peeing outside "come tell mom when you have to pee, go outside and then come back in". Why did I do this??? Because I'm sick of cleaning pee out of the grout in my bathroom. Not to mention how gross it is to sit in pee day after day. I thought this was a clever solution. This morning he successfully went outside to pee three times. Fast forward to nap time. I had laid with him in my bed for 10 minutes or so and left the room. The bedroom door was open and I sat ONE room away. When he later came out to greet me (with no pants on) he said "poop on my shorts". I asked him what he was talking about and he proceeded to tell me he pooped outside. I followed him outside, around the corner where one solitary turd lay. Along with two gloves (for yard work) that were smeared with poop. And random skids all over the concrete. I won't bore you with the rest but it involved poop on his body and a long scrub in the tub. The excitement never ends...

And through all of it, I didn't raise my voice once :)

Summer Love

- bike rides
- sitting on the back porch
- thunderstorms
- playing in the sprinkler
- rosey cheeks
- lots of fruits & veggies
- grilling out
- picnics
- strawberry shakes
- relaxing summer days

What are your loves of the summer?

I am here, I am here, I am here!

There has been so much I've wanted to write about in the past month but the days are slipping by a little quicker than I'd like. And family time has been too precious to waste a moment at my computer. Long summer nights have pushed dinner & bedtimes back, many of late nights are spent cleaning the kitchen and of course spending a few precious moments of silence before crashing for the night. Finally Nater and I were on the ball tonight and we had everything finished by 8:30 and I sit drinking a homemade strawberry shake (with homemade ice cream - and quite delicious) and finally some free time to catch up on the blog.

I've been so torn lately on where I want my blog to go. So often I want to use it as a journal; where I can document memories, emotions and photos. But then I worry about who all is reading my blog; will they be interested, offended or bored? Sometimes I want to whine and complain. Other times I want to squeal with excitement about how much I love my life. But I don't want to come across as ungrateful or arrogant. Do you see where I am headed with this? I realize I have very few readers but I know most of them, hence the worry. That being said, I've kind of enjoyed the past month without worrying about my blog. So we'll see where it goes from here...

Life in Oklahoma is treating us well. Up until this past week the weather has been wonderful. I've developed some awesome friendships with some local moms. There is an active adoption group that gets together every month at an Ethiopian restaurant - LOVE!! I've planted and enjoyed my first garden. I've been relaxing with the boys, exercising again and have fallen even more in love with my hubby. We even had our first night away in a long time while my little brother & sister babysat. Our destination - 45 minutes from our house. We rode mountain bike trails, ate greasy food, napped at the hotel, went out to dinner, listened to live music, slept without having a child in our bed and rode the trails again before heading home. It was perfect (thanks again K & T)!

I've also wanted to blog about how great the boys have been. For nearly 2 years (just after Biruk was home) I was either holding a baby or had one hanging on my leg. I love my children but it wore on me sometimes. And the past few months have brought independence, quiet play and a lot of fun! I am finally caught up on laundry, keeping a clean house and cooking an occasional meal. We are doing so much more as a family (outside of the house) now that they are 2 on up. It makes such a difference not lugging around diapers & baby food for 2, toys, booster seats, change of clothes, etc. I feel free! And not to mention the bond that continues to grow between these three. It's so fun to sit back and watch them play, or quietly listen to their conversations. And best of all - their laughter! It's music to my ears, time and time again. I have felt so blessed these past few months and fortunate to have these three, healthy little men in my life.

The past couple weeks we went to the kite festival, we've been flying our own kite, riding bikes, went to the 4th of July parade, movie night with the boys and even made it to the fireworks (we watched from the van in a parking lot - but we made it!) All precious memories I want to hold onto forever.

For those of you heading to Minnesota this weekend we wish we could be there but after our last road trip (almost 2000 miles round trip and 2 weeks of not sleeping in their own beds) we knew our little boys needed a break. I am terribly bummed we'll miss it but hopefully next summer will include a couple fun getaways with other Ethiopian families (ahem Cathy).

I'll leave you with some photo favorites!

Where have I been?

- On a two week adventure that included driving down to Texas to babysit my 4 nephews and 1 niece while my sister and her husband took a much needed vacation together.

- after my other sister arrived to take over I flew back to Indiana to join my hubby & 3 kids for a visit to see our family

- stayed up waaaaay too late celebrating at the reception for Nater's brother Matt and his wife Melissa (they married in Florida in December)

- drove hubby to the airport and the kids and I stayed another week to visit a little longer.

- the week included dinner & drinks with my sisters one night, lots of yahtzee, a campfire with a hilarious game we made up, s'mores, more games, movies, slip n slides, lots of sunshine, relaxing visits with the in-laws and beautiful scenery.

- drove 900 miles back to Oklahoma with 3 exhausted kids (who do not sleep well in the car) and managed to keep my cool the whole time. I even stopped on the side of the road at a truck pull off, lined up all 3 boys and played "mommy says". By 9:30 they had all fallen asleep and I enjoyed the last two hours in silence. Looooong day in the car but worth it for the memories we created back home.

- 40 hours after arriving home my sister arrived and we started preparing for a movie marathon that was starting Monday morning (her and my other sister that just came home from 9 months in London had planned a 30 hour movie marathon). It was exhausting but very fun!! Lots of good laughs, candy and caffeine included.

- Still visiting with 2 siblings. Still laughing and still eating candy. Damn you 5 extra pounds!

- This weekend Nater and I are planning on spending some quality time together since we have a couple of great sitters. Yay!!!

Shelter from the storm

The clouds just didn't look right last night so we hung out in the closet a bit with the boys (while taking turns running outside of course). There were tornadoes spotted but thankfully we were missed (again). Afterwards, the sun came out and the sky looked beautiful!

Little L

Throughout the day I'm constantly coming up with blog posts and then dinner time rolls around, followed by family time, bed time and finally some relaxation with Nater. And frankly I'm too tired to actually come up with anything blog worthy by then. So I'm going to slowly peck away at a post for little Landon, aka - Baby Diddo (deedoh). He got that name from his big brother Biruk who has been calling him that since he could talk. I would always thought he was saying Diesel but Biruk would always correct me, saying "Diesel in Thomas (the trains), he baby Diddo". Finally I figured it out and now Nathan and I call him Diddo, as much as we do Landon. Anyway, little Landon is something else. He is spoiled rotten and gets away with waaaay more crap then either of his brothers did at his age. And we know we are complete suckers and that he has us wrapped around his fingers. You'd think he puts us under a spell when we look at those sweet, blue eyes of his. And don't get me started on his yummy cheeks!

Baby Diddo's latest antic involves carrying around his doggies (3 of them) and his baby daughter. It's a little beanie baby that he carries around the house and if he doesn't have her he'll say "where's baby daughter" in the sweetest little voice. There are numerous other dolls he likes but those are his favorites.

Landon's vocab has really taken off this past month. He repeats everything and his latest is "what that". But it's the way he says it, in this fast, high pitch tone. It cracks us up every time. Tonight, while getting ready to go on a bike ride, he followed me around the bathroom asking "what that? what that? what that?". And I answered him every single time. Even when we are reading books, he interrupts me, pointing to objects on the page "what that?".

He is very affectionate and loves snuggling up with his brothers or Nathan and I. He gives hugs to his brothers before bed and if he hears them cry he runs over, rubs their back and always hunts down "buddy" for Biruk.

However, he has an attitude that can make you want to pull your hair out. The little booger used to eat everything under the sun and has now made mealtime a nightmare. His brothers went through this phase but it ended much quicker. Landon is standing his ground, night after night. It's exhausting sometimes.

I find myself constantly amazed watching him with his big brothers (or them with him) and I can't help but think about what a blessing it was that he joined our family. Somehow we've managed to get 3 completely opposite personalities and it only makes each individual all the better.

Landon will be 2 next month and I'm so happy with where things are right now. It's definitely the most content I've felt since becoming a mother and it's such a great feeling. I feel at peace as a mother and I'm really enjoying the time spent with these 3 little sweethearts. This time is so precious and I am thankful to be able to spend my days with them. I think if I could freeze time I would be very tempted to do just that.

Landon, thanks for making all of our lives richer and more full of love and laughter. You are something special and I'm so thankful for the moment you joined our lives! Your baby days are numbered and I'll be so sad when your sweet arm rolls, chubby little legs and buddha belly are no longer there. Please take your time growing up because your big brothers have done so too quickly. Love ya kiddo!

Tornado Time

I love nasty weather. I know I shouldn't because of the damage that sometimes comes with it, but I can't help but love a nasty thunderstorm. Today I started hearing about the "tornado" weather that was headed our way so I was secretly excited for some storm watching. Around 4:00 the clouds started rolling in and within 15 minutes our yard was filled with hail, the tornado siren went off, I scrambled to the closet with the kids and the next thing I knew the sky was clear. Unfortunately the storm system continued wrecking havoc on other parts of the city with several tornados touching down. I must clarify, I like thunderstorms ONLY, I would not wish a tornado on my worst enemy. It was so sad watching the news and seeing all the homes torn apart. It's just one more reminder of the struggles people have to deal with in this world. I know for some it's a hassle and a call to their insurance company. But for others (the mobile home park that was destroyed) they are left with nothing.

And tomorrow I'm going to purchase a welder for Nathan so he can rig up a safe room in our closet under the stairs since basements barely exist in OK. I joke, but it is very tempting :) Here are some pictures I captured this evening.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

This year I looked at Mother's Day a little differently. Friday I spent a little more time thinking about what it meant to me and of course, my mind continued to go back to our 3 little boys. I am so grateful for them and like most mothers, I tend to criticize myself and constantly try to improve. So Friday night I decided we needed to spend the next day with all our attention on our boys. So we spent the day at a state park near our house hiking with the boys, enjoying a picnic, playing at the playground and spending the afternoon watching the boys play in the sand at the beach. It was perfect!! I forget my camera which is very unusual for me but it allowed me to focus so much more on the day, and not taking photos. We brought their buckets and shovels and they played so peacefully in the sand. It's moments like this that remind you of what's important in life. I am aware that we are fortunate enough to have these luxuries (weekends spent with each other and not one of us working) and we try taking advantage of it. So with that being said, I think each year, we'll spend the day before Mother's Day with our children and away from all distractions.

Happy Mother's day to all of you wonderful mothers in my life. I've learned so much from all of you!! And of course, to my own mother, who has done SOOOO much for me. Thank you Karen!! You are a superstar and I am still amazed that you managed to come out alive after raising 11 children. Love YOU!

For your birthday....

I wish we could be in Colorado celebrating with you but know we are there in spirit! Miss you lots, hope the pictures bring a smile to your face. Happy Birthday Keely!!!!