He knows the way to my heart....

love

This or that

I can either complain about how much I hate taxes (and myself for waiting until the last minute) or I can post pictures from hiking up at Uncle Wayne's in Colorado. He lives on a beautiful mountain top with spectacular views and plenty of acres to explore. We love it up there and Nathan's Aunt Peggy (she recently passed away) was greatly missed! We love you Peggy. It's not the same without you!

Organization Love

Taxes. I've dreaded doing them this year for some reason. I've procrastinated the past three months and finally it's staring me straight in the face as the deadline soon nears. I have no excuses for January or February. I suppose I can blame March on my trip to Ethiopia, followed by babysitting my sisters 3 youngest kids and then the latest trip to Colorado. Finally time can no longer be wasted. Today I sat down to get them started and realized I did not have one of my more important statements (interest on the house). So one thing led to the next and finally I ended up in hubby's office with a mound of paperwork, bills & files in front of me (and the interest form I thought I was missing). And now I'm obsessing over getting everything organized and clean. It's this sick high that I get from cleaning & organizing me life. And my mood has completely changed; instead of dreading taxes I'm actually looking forward to getting them done. Previously, everything fed off each other and I knew how much work lied ahead of me. But now that I've actually started the process, I don't mind it one bit because I know how clean & organized all my paperwork will be in the end. However, I still need to strategize the best way to get organized in this department. So dear readers of mine, PLEASE share your secrets to keeping organized in the bill filing department. It's one of my biggest disaster zones in my house. I suck at it. Period. I need your help. Thanks in advance :)

Temperamental

Landon was his typical self and lasted about 10 minutes outside before wanting to relax in the back of the car. He had me shut the hatch while he smashed his face up against the glass and Biruk threw snowballs at him. After we descended down the mountain he took his first and only nap of the the trip. It was much needed but unfortunately he woke with a vengeance. How can someone sleeping so peacefully wake up so angry? He finally cheered up while getting some dinner with Uncle Sam.

Shenanigans

While his big brother exhausted himself on the slopes B-man provided endless entertainment by chasing me with snowballs. I'm certain this little guy smiles 90% of the time he is awake!

His first ride...

It had been over four years since we'd been out to Colorado for snowboarding and it was worth the wait. Nathan & I got three days for ourselves and day four he got to teach his oldest how to board. He was as patient with Conner as he was with me over 10 years ago when he taught me how to snowboard. It was windy and cold but Conner didn't give up. Hopefully we'll get back on the mountain next season!

Thankful Thursday!

We just arrived home from Colorado and I have lots of fun stories, great photos and beautiful memories but too tired to write. My memory cards are full and pictures need to be downloaded. Here are a few from my desktop.

I hope you all are doing well & have a wonderful weekend!

Never a dull moment...

with this trio!

Scenes from Ethiopia

For You...

There're no words to say
No words to convey
This feeling inside I have for you

Deep in my heart
Save from the guards
Of intellect and reason
Leaving me at a loss
For words to express my feelings

Deep in my heart
Deep in my heart
Look at me losing control
Thinking I had a hold
But with feelings this strong
I'm no longer the master
Of my emotions

No words to say
No words to convey
This feeling inside I have for you
For you, for you
by: Tracy Chapman


I just returned from Ethiopia and the words are not coming. There is so much I want to say. There is so much that needs to be said. Yet I can't find the words. So I'm going to do my best to form them. 10 days ago I was sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight, when a good friend called and told me about the changes that were being implemented with the adoptions; specifically the 5 letter rule. My 3rd night in country, which happened to be my most emotional, I was forwarded the petition and encouraged to sign. It was the most disturbed I'd felt the whole time I was in country. Not because of anything I'd seen in Ethiopia, rather the words coming from my own country. Earlier that day, while visiting a small village south of Hosanna, I had one gentleman run up to the hut to ask if I was "the lady from Canada collecting children". I also had one gentleman come up to me to say he's not heard anything about his daughter he had given up for adoption. He was hoping I had some information for him. And what will his daughter do if she wants to find him one day and can't... Heartbreak, heartache, I can't shake. That same night I received the petition in my inbox. You can imagine the emotions swirling through my head...

While I'm incredibly heartbroken for the families & children involved in this situation I truly believe, something needs to be done. And I hope, amid all this chaos, the Ethiopian government, the adoption agencies, & adoptive parents can reach deep inside their heart and do what's right. I wish I had the answer. I wish I knew a way for no one involved to get hurt. And mostly, I wish the very best for the children and for them to not be caught in the middle of all of this.

I'm so grateful to have made this trip and to have been gifted with a certain peace that I had been longing for the past three years. Had I not made this journey, I'd still be hurting and haunted by my first trip. Another blessing this time around was my ability to cope with the cultural shock and really embrace the Ethiopian culture and people. There were so many moments, while driving through the villages and watching the people, I had a huge smile on my face. Not of pity or sadness, but more fascination and admiration. I liked Ethiopia 3 years ago, but this trip I was able to really fall in love. And before stepping inside the airport I spent a few last minutes breathing, smelling, hearing and seeing Ethiopia before saying goodbye. I'm hoping to not have to stay away too long. Ethiopia became a part of my life over three years ago; but now it's a part of me!

Wordless Wednesday

All in the name of love

DISCLAIMER: This post falls into the category of TooMuchInformation.
WARNING: TMI, TMI, TMI
LAST CHANCE: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Before getting the boys tucked in for bed I decided to take a bath. I was tired & wanted to do it before time got away. The boys are calmed down enough by this time of the night that I have little to fear as far as them getting into trouble. Plus the littlest had already fallen asleep at 5:30 with a fever in my bed. So I had no more than ran my water, lay my head back and C & B are inquiring whether or not I'm going poop or taking a bath. I inform them that I'm actually taking a bath and could I please just relax. Conner then says "well I have to take a poop" (which means he would need wiped). He then says he doesn't have to go bad so he'll hold it. Keep in mind I'd been in the tub a total of five minutes at this point. 2 more minutes pass and Biruk informs me he has to poop. There is no negotiating with a 3 year old so what do I tell him? "Fine, poop in here". Nothing says Valentine's day like sharing a small bathroom with one pooping while you soak in the tub. And there were NO candles burning. Gross. So I did my mom duties and he was on his way. 2 more minutes passes and Biruk is back "mom, Conner is done pooping". Me: "Tell Conner to wipe his own butt" (no time like the present). 1 minute passes and Biruk is back "Mom, Conner done pooping he needs you". Me: "Biruk, please tell Conner to wipe his own butt". His response "I wipe Conner's butt mom" and off he runs. So I gave up, grabbed my towel and headed upstairs to wipe yet another butt within 10 minutes of trying to take a bath. Guess what we'll be doing this weekend?
Butt Wiping 101 (advice welcomed)

Another day...

Today was one of those days that was ordinary in every way yet so perfect because of it. Hubby & I woke to three sweet boys jumping on our bed with excitement because dad didn't have to work. And because they woke before six and played in their rooms until after 7:00 I rewarded them with homemade hot cocoa (if you still haven't tried this recipe I urge you to immediately) and waffles with strawberries & whip cream. We enjoyed our breakfast, cocoa and I enjoyed coffee while the boys played. The next few hours were spent cleaning, making lunch, and attempting three naps (all of which were a big fat FAIL). I'm not sure why I bother with the nap thing. I suppose since most nights they sleep 10.5 hours I just assume they MUST need a nap. As usual, I was mistaken. So after the attempt to nap, we headed outside to burn off some pent up energy. The boys hauled some serious booty on their scooters and hit every puddle of water they could find. Each side of the road had a constant flow of water from all the melting snow and they loved riding through it. Meanwhile, our neighbor (I like to think of him as our adopted Grandpa to the boys) chatted with me while the kids played in the street and sidewalks. We watched, laughing and talking about how great it was that they were able to be so free. After chasing each other around on their scooters they hit up the snow piles and threw snowballs at each other like they had been doing in for the past few years (I guess it's a natural instinct to make snowballs and throw them at each other). Finally, with soaking wet feet and pants we headed inside to warm up and make dinner. Dinner was followed by books, brushing teeth and bed by seven. The one advantage to our kids sleeping less is that most nights they crash as soon as their head hits the pillow.

Last night I had started installing a hitch for my Pilot when I realized the bolts weren't going to go in as easy as I had hoped. And since hubby is working his butt off at building an office over our garage and doing an awesome job I figured I'd better finish the 'hitch' project. So tonight I finished cleaning out the pre-drilled holes (filled with 7 years of rust) with some Naval Jelly hubby had picked up for me (thank you). And it did wonders. The bolts went right in with out any problems. With some assistance from hubby to hold it up, the hitch was installed in no time at all. Why a hitch? I've wanted a popup camper for the past few years and I think this will finally be the year I make it happen. I grew up camping and those trips are some of my fondest memories. I can't wait for my boys to experience the joys and peacefulness of camping!

After the hitch install I finally tackled the carseats. I had picked up a new seat for Conner so I could get three across on the second row but I couldn't get a good install. So tonight I finally tackled them. I spent a good hour installing all three kids seats and have them just the way I want them.

The Pilot. After months of searching for a smaller suv I finally found a seven year old Pilot with 77,000 miles on it for a great price. I traded in the van and never looked back. I love it! It takes up less garage space. It is way more reliable then my minivan and best of all, it has a CD player!! My van was as basic as they come with all manual options and a tape deck. For three years I missed listening to all the mixed cd's my sister Poe had made me throughout the years. So tonight I finally pulled out the six disc changer (completely new technology to me even though now it's completely outdated) and I picked some favorites and sat in my 'new' car enjoying some chill music. I put the seat back, closed my eyes and smiled. And thought about my sister Poe who is miles and miles away in Senegal, Africa. She'll be there for almost 2 more years and I'm missing her like crazy. But now, I have my music again. And every time I play my cd's I think of her. I miss you Poe!!!

Again, there was nothing extraordinary about today but it was perfect in so many ways. While the boys played today I was thinking about how thankful I am that they are all healthy. I'm thankful for my Nater. He's a wonderful father, he's quite the handy man and after 10 years hasn't stopped making me laugh. We are blessed beyond measures and so often I think about how sheltered we really are each and every day. Tonight I am thankful for an ordinary day.

California Dreamin'

And we can't wait to get back!

Success

Today is going much better than yesterday. Snow has been falling since I woke this morning making for some beautiful scenery. Temps rose to 30 degrees so I was able to get all the boys dressed and head outside for some memorable times in the snow. In the past Biruk & Landon were to young to enjoy it but this year they both lasted for at least 30 minutes. Conner & I stayed outside for another couple hours and built 5 snowmen and an awesome igloo. I felt like a kid all over again. When we came inside I was craving some hot cocoa and quickly googled this fabulous recipe! You MUST make this NOW! I'm not even kidding. It was delicious. Nathan just came out of his office and said "well you ruined me for instant hot cocoa". It's true. You'll never, ever go back! Also, per the reviews, I used 1/2 c.sugar vs. 3/4 c and that was plenty sweet. EDITED TO ADD: We did not use half & half either. Now please report back to me immediately. Happy Friday to all of you! Let the good times roll :)

In case the link above does not work, here it is again.
http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/creamy-hot-cocoa/Detail.aspx

Failure

We all fail at our job at times. My job just happens to include my children. Every. Single. Day. And today I'm failing them. I woke up feeling funky and while I'm trying to shake it I'm not trying hard enough. My mind wants to be elsewhere instead of here. I'm still going about the usual tasks (dishes, meals, laundry, purging, homeschooling) although I feel as if I'm not actually here. I'm walking around in a daze thinking about upcoming trips, goals I have for the house, my family, my siblings, camping, warm weather, exercising, etc. And then I look around and feel like I'm accomplishing nothing. Even if I did get ALL the laundry caught up today, it will be a mess again tomorrow. Piles will be scattered throughout the house. Sheets will need washed again. Towels will need washed. It never ends. Most of the time I can roll with the monotonous tasks of a stay at home mom but some days you just get tired of doing the exact same thing. Every day. Who knows what triggered this mood swing. Maybe it's the cold weather. My pale skin. My children talking back. Taxes that need to be completed. Dinner waiting to be cooked. A news story about sexual assault. The book I just finished about a wife losing her spouse much sooner then she anticipated. Or my sister in Senegal who was having a rough time the other day. Maybe it's hormones. And I realize how pathetic and selfish it all seems, yet I still can't get myself out of this pitiful state of mind.

Soon it will all pass. Life is really a roller coaster of emotions. Some days you are on a complete high, in shock by how wonderful life is at that moment. And then other days you just want to lock yourself in the closet and have a pity party. As a result, your closet will be looking pretty darn good by the end of the day.

I didn't need to blog about this today. But life is not always rainbows & butterflies. And this post just might make another mom (or dad) feel better about there state of mind. We aren't alone with these feelings. So from one parent to another - cheers for a better tomorrow.

Yours truly,
The Sulker