Contemplating...

My blog is seriously lacking in content these days. I've reached a point that I'm not sure it's worth keeping around any more. I've started my own journal because it's much easier to write freely when you don't know 75% of your readers. Why is it so hard to pour our heart out when you know your readers? I know I'm not alone in this battle. And while I try to not think about the fact that I know my readers it still lingers in the back of my mind. Fear of judgement, criticism, vulnerability, etc.

My life used to be a lot more chaotic, adventurous and exciting. Having three kids in 32 months, moving six times in six years (not including 5 weeks in a hotel), adopting while pregnant, remodeling a farmhouse, will add a level of excitement to any persons life. Well that chapter (or should I say chapters) of our life is behind us. Now I long for the simple things in life. Days where my kids spend hours running in the backyard, picnics in the park, weekends camping, pullling weeds in my garden, homeschooling my kiddos, snuggling on the couch for afternoon movies, curling up in the bed (or back patio) with a good book, researching nutrition, etc. All of which aren't exactly blog-worthy (at least not the way I write). And I've really taken to this slow lifestyle. I like it a lot actually. Our days rarely include anything that requires leaving the house. The boys are happy when they have my attention and I'm much happier when I give them my attention. I want to embrace this lifestyle while it really is that simple and slow. Any adult you speak to with grown kids constantly say how fast it goes by. I don't want to miss out on these opportunities with my boys. Especially since they are still fighting for my lap, or a ride in the ergo, and begging for books to be read, snuggling before bed, as much time as they can possibly have with their mama. I get one chance at this so I might as well give it my all.