A journal entry, for myself.

I'm starting to understand why we have to have bad days in life. It makes the good days really, REALLY good! I discovered this week 2 things that help Conner with homeschooling; motivation and myself. I told him at the beginning of the week that I'm going to make a chart and on that chart he'll get a star for every day he does his school work well. He loved the idea and earned himself 5 stars this week. As a result he gets to do something fun. And today, after completing his work, we made chocolate & zucchini brownies. They are disqusting (in my opinion) but the kids are all sitting at the bar eating them. Correction: Biruk just said "I don't like it. Mom, will you eat mine?". No thank you B. And I still have a 9x13 pan full of them. Live & learn I suppose. Regarding the second reason for Conner's improvement I've noticed that he works so much quicker and efficiently when I'm sitting right next to him at the table. I've been researching recipes, health & nutrition this week while Conner gets his work finished. It's a win-win for all of us. Meanwhile the other 2 have been playing so well together tackling puzzles, building with legos and imaginative play. Maybe it's all be a fluke but I'm hoping we are turning over a new leaf and with summer will come productivity for all of us, happy play, new recipes & healthy diets.

I just read through old blog posts. After watching Landon feed Biruk tonight at dinner it made me think back to an old photo I had of them feeding each other. Talk about a trip down memory lane. Wow. I'm so thankful I've blogged for so long because it's the only documentation I have of my life (along with photos) and I can't believe how many memories it triggered. And it also made me realize how much more I think about what I blog about now. I don't like it. That's the problem when more & more people you know read your blogs. So I'm going to do my best to stop worrying about what people think and write whatever I am feeling at that given moment. Like, L & B feeding each other. At least once a week one of them will be shoving a bite of food into the other ones mouth. It cracks me up. I've never seen it before and I have no idea why they do it so much. Love, love, love it! I have also been loving watching Conner's expression when he writes his words & numbers when doing his school work. His lip curls up a certain way and he sticks out his tongue a lot when he concentrates. One day he'll stop and I'm going to miss seeing these expressions. I need to capture it on video. He's also reading now which has been so much fun. My little man is all grown up...

Landon loves singing songs in a really deep voice. He can make up a song for anything. It ranges from "mailbox, mailbox to 'driving in my car, driving in my car'". And it always assures a laugh from his brothers. Speaking of brothers he calls Biruk & Conner his "guys". "where are my guys mom?" he'll say when he can't find them. Biruk. OH Biruk. He has made leaps & bounds the past few months. He started sleeping in his own bed. He's become my snuggliest child. He loves to have my carrying him in the ergo or in my arms. His laugh is music to my ears and he always looks at me when Landon is cracking him up and says "deedoe (no idea how to spell it) funny mom". Biruk is a smart little man too. The other day I asked him to try writing his name and the first thing he did was make a B. I then asked him to make the i, r, u & k and the little stinker did. I was shocked and proud.

Some days I look around and can't believe we survived three years ago. But we did. And now I'm doing my best to freeze this time and enjoy my days with these 3 special little men in my life. Lately we've been having lots of fun with some ap hubs downloaded on his phone. The boys crack up and we laugh even harder. Laughing; there is nothing else I'd rather be doing!