The best I can...

Landon and Biruk this past week had been stuck to me like glue. Seriously. If I was holding one, the other got mad. If one cried, the other cried louder. And if they weren't touching at least one part of my body at all times their world came crashing down. And in the rare case of them finally settling down to play and I would sneak out of the room all hell breaks loose. Oh the nerve of me to think I can actually go to the bathroom.

Fast forward to this weekend when Nathan & I were hoping to get some work done around the house. Every time we attempt this we end up getting frustrated because the boys require so much attention and neither of us want the "babysitting" role. Most weekends are spent as a family and we hang out with the kids. But when we have a mission (in this case caulking and painting trim) we tend to get focused and at that point we wish we had a babysitter. I wanted to be the one working (which Nathan thankfully let me dive into painting trim). And then I feel guilty for so desperately wanting to get away from the kids. And then I feel even more guilty when I get angry at them for being so needy and clingy. While discussing these feelings with Nathan he said to me "Chand, a lot of people couldn't handle this every single day." And he's right. Maybe I'm not always as patient as I should be, or as nuturing as I'd like, and I definitely do not always make the best decisions but I am doing the best I can. And hopefully not screwing them up too much :)