oh yes he did. Apparently Biruk has snuck on my blog and read my most recent post. And so today he wanted to prove me wrong. My good friend Angie (Conner's girlfriend) was over today and Biruk was reaching out for her while in my arms. Then when I would hold mine out for him to come back he shook his head no and nuzzled up on Angie. Slap in the face. Seriously. On a positive note he reached out for hubby. I told you those 2 were buds. Me and him. Not so much. Anyway, I love my friend Ang so she's off the hook but I was so bummed. Am I making a bigger deal about this than it really is? Please chime in adoptive moms out there or any mama's with little ones that prefer others over yourself.
sincerely,
sad mama
I can so identify with this... Our daughter Meron, from the beginning, preferred me. Just recently, she began preferring my husband and the first couple of times it happened it was like a slap in the face.
ReplyDeleteI really think this has more to do with who he feels comfortable with... He knows that he can push you away a little and you'll still love him... He doesn't see Nathan (or your friend) as much, so when he's around, Biruk gives him a ton of attention... Just my take on it.
I work outside the home, and Doug is always with our girls... so, when this started happening with Meron and I, it really hurt. I eventually figured out that Meron finally felt comfortable enough with me to reject me some times... My older one, Leigh, rejects whenever she feels like it, and I never think anything of it...
I don't think he "prefers" others over you. Some kids are super social and outgoing and it show at a young age. My oldest was/is that way. He loves eveyone and all people. At the end of the day, he wants me to always hug and kiss him, though. I'll take it :)
ReplyDeleteChandra,
ReplyDeleteIf you think there is a problem, reign it in. If you think this is just a silly little thing, don't worry.
When Tezeta starts going to other people and saying no to me, I really change course. I stop letting others hold her. We do more showering together, and really work on cuddle time, and bonding.
Again, I'm not sure Biruk is struggling with atachment. But if you think he is, be pro active.
((((hugs)))) It sucks to wonder. But, I would rather over do it and not have to question if I did enough.
Feel free to call lovely lady!
Oy! We have been home for a year next month and Mihiret still prefers me over my husband 95% of the time. I know that it has been really hard on him. We have been really pushing the daddy daughter time and it seems to be making a big difference. I know that our kids are very different ages though. We are just keeping the faith that it will all balance out in time :)
ReplyDeleteGood Luck momma!!!
Seamus was like that as a baby until he was 2. Whenever he got hurt or needed anything, I'd rush to scoop him out and he'd immediately reach for his daddy. It killed me. Things didn't improve until I stared taking him to Gymboree for 1:1 time. Now he's much more cuddly with me, and I've also learned to appreciate the special bond he has with his daddy.
ReplyDeleteBut having said that... trust your instincts. If you think there is an issue, do what you can to get it resolved now while he's young.