It's just one of those days...

Since I started researching adoption (nearly one year ago) there are certain days that I feel emotionally overwhelmed and to say I feel "sad" is an understatement. Today was one of those days. It started as a happy day because we faxed in our homestudy to CHSFS and once that is approved we can send in our dossier and "officially" start the wait. However, sending in my homestudy has me wondering if we are making the right decision on age, choosing the right country, should we have requested siblings...??? I think about all of the countries in the world with children in need and it makes me so sad. Should we adopt older? What about those waiting? But I know with an 18 month old and only being 26 adopting an older child probably isn't the way to go right now. Maybe in the future...

But back to the day, then I watched American Idol tonight because the episode was geared towards "Giving It Back" and they were raising money all night for charities in the US and Africa. Well they showed footage of Africa and it just broke my heart. It's so sad that people have to die, every second, of every minute to AIDS. Or that a 12 year old boy and his 7 year old sister have to live by themselves because their parents died. Or that children even younger that that are orphaned every single day and living on the streets. What about in America? They did a segment on a family in Kentucky and the mother can't even read. It just breaks your heart. And days like today I can hardly handle...

With that I will try harder to become more frugal, give back to others, educate people around me and most importantly be a better person and mother. I read a blog tonight from a young lady that is a senior in high school with seven siblings. Me trying explain it would not do it justice. You can check out her blog at http://afamilyoften.blogspot.com . I hope I can raise my kids to have such compassion for each other and the world.

Sorry to be a downer tonight. Normally I keep these days to myself but I thought I'd share tonight. I'm going to try to write more frequently because it feels good to get my feelings out.

With that I had a WONDERFUL time seeing my family back in Indiana. I can't believe how much closer we all have gotten as we've gotten older. Not that we weren't close before it's just that the intimacy is changing. Thanks to all my siblings for being such a LARGE part of my life. I wouldn't be me without YOU!

And of course to my wonderful husband, who has a way of making the aches and pains more bearable and for walking down the path of life with me, specifically parenthood. You are such a wonderful father and husband. It's been amazing watching you with little man and I can't wait to see you with the next. I know, life with you, only gets better! I love you!!! thanks for all you do for us.